Kids Say the Darndest Things

Kids say the dardnest things.  While this one isn't so much of a "oh that's so cute" thing, it's more along the lines of "girlfriend, you have no idea".

In Northern Minnesota over Labor Day weekend we were told of the most amazing sandy beach, recommended by our front desk clerk.  A beach where all of the summer resort employees and locals go about 20 minutes away.  Yes please!  That's the one I want!  Screw the tourist shenannigans.

While relaxing in the shallow water I noticed (hard not to) my husbands visually appalling feet.  I find they represent hard work and being outside a lot in the summer, but, I'm sure others would be more inclined to describe them differently.  As we were in shallow water on a 100% sand beach I scooped up some wet sand, put it on his feet and told him to rub his feet with it. And here comes the choir:

Dialog:
Eight year old girl (who doesn't think we can hear her 15 feet away): "Ewwwww!  That's disgusting!"

My initial reaction was "Yeah, feet are disgusting.." then I realized it.  She was freaked out by the wet sand!  While I could have explained this on the beach to her, to avoid confronting a child in a public place and her mother calling the cops, I thought my message would be better represented in a letter to her on my blog.

Letter 
From: Ann Marie 
To: Eight Year Old Girl Who Things Sand On Feet is Disgusting

Dearest grasshopper with so much more to learn,

So you think that sand on feet is disgusting, huh?  Girlfriend, you're in for a big shock about the real world.  In less than 10 years from now you'll likely be asked a question that will define your arrival into womanhood, "Would you like a deluxe pedicure or just the regular?".  You will answer "Deluxe".  Because damnit, you deserve it.

Then, not only will they slop wet sand on your feet.  They will proceed to slop warm mud on your feet and legs, vicariously shred the bottom and sides of your feet with a tool (that I'm still not entirely convinced isn't a kitchen microplane at some spa locations) and nine times out of ten, burn your feet and legs with those too damn hot towels.

So, the next time you go into that spa you'll tell yourself "I'm not going to get the deluxe pedicure.  I came in here for the $22 midweek pedicure and by god that's what I'm walking out with".  The thing is, you're wrong.  They will ask the age-old question mid way through (what you indicated was a regular pedicure in the beginning), "Would you like a deluxe pedicure or just the regular?".  They will always make you feel like a second class citizen with the infliction in their voice when they ask, to make you feel JUST crappy enough about your life outside of those walls to get the answer that they want.  Then this game will go on, year after year.  Deluxe pedicure after deluxe pedicure.

The best part  is they're not only are they throwing sand and mud on your feet and shredding your feet with kitchen utensil, they're also charging $10 extra to do it each time.

So, hopefully when your day to become a woman is upon you, you will be wise and brave enough to have the same response today on the beach of "Ewwwwwwww!!! That's disgusting!" and save yourself hundreds of dollars over the course of your adult life.

Best of luck, you'll need it.

- Ann Marie

Kitchen Microplane

Foot Microplane, can you see my confusion???

I'm back! But where have I been? Why now?

Q: "Why didn't you blog for soooo long?!".

A: "Ummm...two things."

Q: "Why get back into it now?"
A: "Easy, football season."

While the answers aren't very interesting, it came down to those three things: life, technology and football.

Life & Technology

Here's the background.  I've been working in software sales for nearly two years now.  It's the most fulfilling job I've every had, and the best company I've ever worked for...and is an opportunity of a lifetime.  While it sounds a little cheesy, every week I'm challenged mentally and the people around me are some of the quickest and most talented I've ever worked with.

Just a typical Thursday at my desk, with one of my talented team nehhhhhs.

But we're always "on", even though it's not a requirement.  Everyone has an iPhone, iPad and MacBook, literally.  While we're not required to respond to emails or always be "on", you don't want to let your team or customers down.  Well, last year I found myself checking emails when I normally wouldn't have, responding to requests well after 9:00 at night and making work phone calls while in the car with my family.

Then it started.  The dog got depressed when he saw me pull the computer out and my response time to the husband's questions were delayed and often half baked because of doing two (or five) things at once.  Then the guilt kicked in and it was time.  I deliberately stopped bringing my computer home after work last winter. Admittedly I still checked Facebook, cruised online and read on my Kindle...but work emails, blogging (and anything requiring a keyboard) waited.

Mom, put the computer down and take me outside! Even if it's snowing in May!

In short, it's known disconnecting from technology after work is beneficial, and I've been trying over the last year to get better about it.  Because I do NOT want to be one of those people addicted to their smartphone that live for picture to post to Facebook and Twitter (instead of the actual moments).

While I had a lot less to blog about because I wasn't snapping pictures or being obsessed about taking notes while out to dinner, it was a great reality check on what's important, and based on my other obligations, blogging did not make the list at that time.  But why am I picking the baton back up if I had such a great time fully engaged in real life?  

Living in the moment....hotdog leg style.

Football

NFL football is why I'm back to blogging.  For the next 17 weeks have all day Sunday, Monday nights (and for half the season) Thursday nights of quality time to myself (outside of when the Packers play).

Thanks for understanding everyone!  

While my posts may not be as detailed as they have been in the past, I'm going to do my best to provide my readers (by readers I mean my family...literally) with some exciting adventures, misadventures, commentaries and reviews in the coming weeks!  Thanks everyone!

PS: To the best of my knowledge and records, I've updated my 2012-2013 reading list.  While there aren't full reviews, feel free to check the updated list out!

"Raving Fan" of Audible

For two years, 1.5 hours of my day were filled with: idiot drivers, post snow storm rush hour traffic, BMW drivers that thought they owned the road, white knuckles, a clenched jaw, and a rather well exercised middle finger.  Because of this commute, those of you that knows me well, knows that this is how I learned to love me some Audible.

Well, since my commute has been cut down dramatically...so has my audiobook time.  Which is clearly good and bad.  It's now gotten to the point where I've reached my max in roll over Audible credits, and am making sometimes unwise choices about purchasing audiobooks when I need to burn credits.

Crap...I need to burn some of these credits! 

So as I was going to explore my options to cancel on the site, I came across something that quickly changed my mind and reminded me again as to how I originally fell in love with Audible.com.  Their stellar as hell customer service, great pricing for members, and shockingly fair and logical policies.

This makes way too much sense to have no "gotchas", right? 

Oh yeah, and there is a phone number that you can actually call and talk to a person about getting your credit back on the the audiobook that you don't like!  At anytime!  

Talk to a real, live, person?  Anytime?  Can it be true?

What's even crazier is that it all worked like they said it would.  

I called the number above at 9:00 PM CST.  A live person picked up.  I talked to them about how disappointed in myself I was about over-committing to the Game of Thrones series (and sounded like a crazy cat lady)...and that I wanted to know if I would be able to trade books 2, 3 and 4 in for other books.  They said "absolutely", let me know that the books would no longer be in my library, that I would be seeing credits on my account and we cordially parted ways.  Then as soon as I got off the phone I refreshed my browser...and it was already done!  The credits had been applied to my account within seconds.  

Honestly, how can I unsubscribe when I have an experience like that?  I just won't do it.

Moral of the story: If all of the places people spent their hard earned money had customer service like this, the world would be a much happier place.